Not Even A Goodbye

Last night, after I went to bed, my ex snuck out and packed up the car.  This morning before I had gotten up, she left the house without saying goodbye or even sending a farewell email.

You see, my ex’s new girlfriend arrived into town today and because I made it quite clear she wasn’t welcome in the house whilst I am living here, they are staying elsewhere.  I have no problem with this, besides the whole this is the girl she cheated on me issue.  But leaving without a farewell after a 10 year relationship and a 12 year friendship when I am moving to Germany on Friday, well that was just a low act.

To say I’m upset is an understatement, I’m fucking pissed off.  It feels like she has taken our friendship and relationship and thrown them in the trash like they mean nothing.  If we weren’t talking, I would understand it but last night we had a rather friendly and civil conversation about stuff and I honestly thought that after getting some space perhaps there was a chance we might be able to be friends.  After this, I’m really not sure.  How do you forgive someone who treats you like this?  Can you ever forgive them?

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About Meg

A thirty something queer Aussie geek girl who now lives in Germany.
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8 Responses to Not Even A Goodbye

  1. Dee says:

    When I left my ex after 14 years, no one else was involved, we stayed friendly, but I honestly believe that friendship is difficult and not even a good idea. For your sanity maybe but certainly for mine at the time I have always felt better cutting all ties. We did talk about necessary things like finalising financial matters. Since I was the one who left, I also thought it was better for him. It is now 2 years ago and he married about 6 months ago so I am assuming he is happy.

    Different circumstances… always difficult…
    Have a great trip, life and Auf Wiedersehen.


    • Riayn says:

      I know remaining friends with the ex is fraught with difficulties but since me and my ex were friends for 2 years beforehand and the fact that we will no longer be living in the same country, I was kinda hoping we might have been able to maintain a kinda online friendship. However, now, I’m not even sure that is possible or if it is something I want.

  2. Anthony says:

    Most will tell you that unless you have some kind of ties like children together, then it is usually best to forget the whole idea of being friends after something like that. As for forgiving them, that’s something only you can decide for yourself… and it will probably take some time even when/if you decide to.

  3. Beaker says:

    (yes, I think I’m stalking you online) – I have to measure-up her side, just to play advocate, but maybe she wanted to leave it at a nice, civil conversation, and get out of your way quietly.. it’s gotta be tough for her too, even if she does have the new girl coming to town…

    • Riayn says:

      Well you are a very friendly stalker. :)

      You make a good point, I want to believe what you say is true, but to say nothing not even send an email? I’m not too sure.
      I’m probably just too close to it at the moment to be objective, but it feesl like just another thing in the list of crappy things she has done to me in recent months.

    • lelak says:


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