I’ve been single for 9 months now and that has been a very good thing for me. I must admit that now I’ve settled into it, I’m really enjoying the single life. However, I miss flirting and kissing and sex and I’ve been thinking more and more about getting back into dating. I’m not sure I’m ready for a serious long term relationship but I’m definitely ready for having some fun.
However, I’m not sure how soon is too soon to start dating after coming out of a long term relationship. My ex decided to start dating whilst still in a relationship, but I choose to be more classy than that as I feel I owe it to the person I’m dating to have as little emotional baggage as I can from my previous relationship. But how soon is too soon and can one really put a time limit on it? I’ve been told you should wait one month for every year your last relationship lasted to work through all the crap you come out of relationship is. So far that has been fairly good advice, but does anyone have anything better?
I’m wondering if most of my ‘is it too soon?’ angsting is because I really have no idea how to begin dating. Thanks to the infamous Inner West Lesbian Web of Death, I have always ended up in relationships with my friends. This is now not an option since none of my friends here are gay. I will have to step completely out of my comfort zone and actually date (yikes!). How on earth does one do that? How do you even meet people in a country where you barely speak the language and in a city where you have no idea about the queer community? I fear I will have to take a running jump out of my comfort zone and just go to a lesbian bar and start flirting. Did I mention that even though I love flirting, I’m incredibly bad at flirting with people I don’t know? It terrifies me. Perhaps this new chapter of my life is all about teaching me to get up the courage to do the things that scare me the most.