There should probably be a ban against using lines from the Friends theme song as blog titles, but it is so damn fitting that it was literally screaming out to be used. Apologises to everyone who has an adverse reaction to 90s sitcoms.
After I moved to Germany and had a rather not so great foray into the world of online dating, I figured I really needed a year off from relationships to get my head back to a healthy place and to get myself settled in my new city. Well, that one year self moratorium on dating is up and I feel emotionally ready to get back into the game. There is only one slight problem, I have no damn idea how to go about it. Not a single one. You see, I’ve never been on a date. Ever. I just wound up in relationships with my friends. This was easy, become friends, sense a growing attraction and then bam, you are in a relationship. No awkward first dates, no blind dates, no dating of any kind.
However, now I’m living in a different country and I no longer have a handy network of lesbian friends I can hook up with or can use to meet other lesbians. In fact, I don’t know any lesbians in Hamburg at all. All my friends are straight, with the exception of my one gay male friend who also doesn’t know any lesbians.
I know I could just go out to a lesbian club and if I was damn lucky find a one night stand, but to be honest, that isn’t what I’m looking for. I gotta admit I’m an intellect snob. Sure, a pretty package can aid the attraction, but if the girl is not intelligent then I am not interested. The likelihood I’m going to meet a girl that I can discuss world politics and science with at a lesbian nightclub is pretty damn remote. Add to that meeting a girl around my age at one who doesn’t have a girlfriend in tow is almost nil and you can begin to see why, for me, that isn’t exactly a viable dating option.
As for online dating, I’m not feeling the love there either. I dunno why, I’m just not. Probably because I haven’t found a single girl on there that lives even remotely close to Hamburg. Then again, given my ridiculously busy schedule maybe a long distance relationship might be a good thing. At least then, she couldn’t complain that I don’t have time for her.
There are times when I think I’m throwing up all these excuses for not being able date simply cause I’m scared to. Dating seems damn scary and rather judgemental, which is why I think I’ve always had relationships with friends. Also, 10 years out of even having to think about dating is a really long time.
If anyone has any advice on easing oneself back into the dating game especially in a country where you barely speak the language, please, please give it to me. In the meantime I will go back to my crushes on straights girls and CNN reporters. At least I already know where they will go…. nowhere.